So Space

by Ashley M

Haunted by Nightmares

Still alive here, just getting busier and busier.
 Due to the huge Il Corsaro Opera my uni’s orchestra has done for 4 days continuously, with 2 weeks of non-stop rehearsals, things have been a little bit crazy for me, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.
I’m up in bed now, typing as fatigue is buzzing the back of my head. This morning is the second time I woke up startled, short of breath from screaming sharply in my sleep. I’ve been having nightmares too often. Last week, I had them every night and they were right on top of the morbid scale, clearly I’ve been too stressed out on many other things. 
I’ve had nightmares of a tragic death of a loved one, someone who tried to kill me with chains, past traumatic experiences that only got worse in my dreams and eerie odd situations that don’t make sense to me. It’s crazy. I’ve lost count of them.
Even catching a power nap, like what I’m supposed to do approximately an hour ago, seemed hardly possible. I just can’t fall asleep! Don’t know if this is insomnia (I’ve had worse), or the fact that I know that I cannot fully rest because I’ve to get up and ready for work in 1.5 hours time. Here I am, feeling frazzled, and just psyching myself that I will be in top shape (if you believe it, you can do it.) for work tonight.
My poor blog has been extremely silent these weeks, unfortunately. Sending out my apologies to readers who are probably bored checking for updates anymore. These nightmares are not getting to me, but I think yesterday night was probably the worse sleep I’ve ever had in a long time. Waking up at ungodly hours and tossing and turning, and multiple nightmares in one night. 
Hence, I’ve decided to do something that’s worth my extra time, like blogging. 🙂 
People say that nightmares mean something. 
As far as I know, my nightmares are just my subconscious fcking around with my brain when I’m asleep. So bad that I wake up super early startled and unable to go back to sleep. And when I want to sleep in the afternoon, thoughts just flood my mind. It’s super unfair.
So, I’ve searched for tips on how to sleep better. One of them is aromatherapy. I went ahead and gotten some little incense sticks from a rather interesting shop and put them on my bedside drawer. They seem to help a bit. However, I think my main problem is that I’m just too rushed/stressed/exhausted. I remember the times before I came to Wellington, I was sleeping peacefully from 1-4pm in the afternoon. 
Sleeping peacefully. Peacefully. Peaceful is the word.
I’ve gotten some friends and family saying that I look very tired in my most recent photos, and lost some weight (not a bad thing at all though… heheh). I just want to sleep better again. 
Okay, time for work. 
Trying to stay positive till 8.30pm tonight.
Please stay tuned for my Dorothy Perkins sponsored post! 
Ashley Mah

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This entry was posted on August 7, 2013 by in Uncategorized.
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